Why can’t you just be like other parents? Why can’t you just be proud of me for being one step closer to my dream? Yeah, I get that by getting an F in chemistry sets me back by possibly a whole year of school. But I’m taking CNA classes. I’m getting hands on experience with patients. It’s not like I’m just going downhill with everything. Why can’t you just be proud of me for taking the initiative to spend my Summer to take classes? Why can’t you just be proud of me for working hard at reaching my goal? Why can’t you just support me with my career goal? Why can’t you just say “I’m proud of you” even if you’re not? It tears my heart a little more every time someone I know or even a random person that finds out I’m a nursing major says, “Oh good for you. Your parents must be proud.” I try my best to not care and I’ve spent my whole life trying to accept the fact I’d never get that “I’m proud of you” out of either of you. But even with it being almost 19 years, I can’t not care. I can’t accept it. And I can’t seem to stop trying to get those three words out of either of you. I try my best to just keep telling myself I have people who are proud of me and that I am proud of myself. I try to tell myself that that’s all that matters. But deep down, it’s really not. And it’s hard to explain why to people when they can’t relate. I hate this.
Just a blogging kinda night. Got too much on my mind.